New year beginning

Ok, while I was drinking my 3 or 4 glasses of Sambuca (maybe 7 or 8... you know, after a while you stop counting...) to welcome the new year I spent some time reflecting about what's up with me, with the just finished year and if all my recent (and strong) decisions are right or wrong.First question: what's up with me? Answer: many things are going wrong or, at least, not the way I expected them to go i.e. I'm frustrated. I lost the hope to find some really affordable true friends since the ones I had disappointed me believing that friendship is something ethereal. Especially because of Grazia and Anna, but also for Chiara, Luca, Davide, Tom, Fra. Second question: is my reaction right? Answer: it's just a matter of point of view. As Alice said, I've got very good reasons to react this way... but it's also true that many other people would have reacted in a very different way. It should be taken into account, in order to achieve a pretty complete analysis, that I'm very fragile and that I've good the bad habit to trust in people and to give'em much more than I give to myself. My reaction is probably due to the fact that disappointments came all together without a sufficient amount of time (delay?) between them.Third question: what about 2k5? Well... from september to december it has been a complete disaster under almost any point of view: Poli, love relationships and friendships, basket (sport?), family and money too. It would appear obvious that I should give a 0 the 2k5... but, I thought that a statistical approch to the question would have given much better results. From January to March the year was great. Good job @Poli and the beginning of the story with Anna. April --> June... very good too.. money ok, university ok, Anna... mmm allright. July --> September Average... few exams Good and funny time in Sweden-Finland, terrible 10 days in France because of Anna... september... still big Anna's matter... just 1 exam... but that one was pretty long and hard... September --> december... earthquake. Grazia's "Roles' Theory", frienships gone... no money, the little car crash, no answers from Sarti... Anyway, taking all that into account and averaging all happenings... this year deserves a 6.5. The problem is not the average... the problem is VARIANCE!!!! I touched all extreme points: great happiness and satisfaction, deep sadness and frustration... Once again, second order indexes + first order ones tell much more than first order ones alone.Final considerations: 1) I spent 5 years saying that Grazia was very unsure and fragile... bullshit, I was completely wrong. Grazia is very artful and selfish. She do not even remember my name and my face... while I could recognize her pussy's hairs... one by one. Anna? The same. Chiara? The same... well she problably remember my face since she saw me 1 week ago. I do not mean to consider all the others a mass of bastards and me, the poor little victim.. But the difference between me and my ex-"friends" or girls is that they have been loved, so they still have hope. I do not. If I couldn't trust in Grazia... who can I trust in? With all I gave her, I had almost nothing back. I spent my life trying to leave something good in people, try to do my best to be accepted and loved... and suddenly I realized that I'm just a footstep on the beach.. the first wave that come... the footstep has gone. While almost all the peaple I met during life stand still in my mind like solid rocks. It' very disapponting to discover how easy is to fade away. But, am I to romantic dreamer and others simply realist? Or are they ungrateful and me a betrayed man? Ea